What Is Empathy

What is Empathy? Simply put “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes”. This can be very challenging. Some people find it harder than others to feel what someone feels. To genuinely express empathy, it takes a special character to be able to feel someone’s pain and relate to their suffering.

In the field of behavioral health we have to have this kind of character. Some develop this character through lived experience, for others it may come natural. However one may have achieved this characteristic, it is a must.

How Does Empathy look? It displays consideration; acknowledges someone’s pain; does not minimize the feelings of another.

The generic responses such as “Everything happens for a reason,” “They are in a better place now” or “just look on the bright side” does not comfort someone who has lost a loved one. Empathy would say I can identify with how you may feel and adding lived experience or if one has no lived experience try, “I am willing to support you how can I help? Give them the opportunity to share and then listen. People in pain just want to be heard. They may want validation that what they are going through is difficult.

“That must be really hard for you.” This is a statement that acknowledges their pain. The best thing you can do is to acknowledge how the other person feels. When you connect with someone’s pain or struggle, it helps him/her feel supported. It shows you understand (or are trying to understand) how they might be feeling.

There is no script for empathy. It’s less about what you say and more about showing up and listening well. Sometimes, it’s o.k. to simply admit you don’t know what to say or that you can’t imagine what it would be like to experience what they are going through.

In all your efforts remember to show gratitude for them sharing and be supportive. What do you say to show empathy?

By Yolanda James