My Road To Recovery

I am Willie but those who know me call me “LaWillie” or “BaeBae” I was born and raised in Atlanta, GA on August 15, 1966, the second oldest out of 4 kids. Growing up I had a father, but my mom pretty much raised us by herself, meaning, my mom and father were divorced while I was in elementary school. While entering high school I took on the responsibility of caring for my two sisters. While my mom worked from 3 to 11 pm, my brother was working as well and they were rarely home. During my 9th grade year, I joined the marching band and played on the soccer team. Well upon graduation, I received two four year scholarships. The scholarships were from Clark University for music, and Morris Brown College as well. With my mom being a single parent, I saw no way for me to further my education and receive the support needed from my family. In 1984, I graduated from school and took my first real job at country home bakery where I met a couple of friends and we began hanging together. Now at this point in my life, I never was introduced to drugs or any illegal substances. Well lo and behold me and my friends were sitting there playing cards and a particular car would pull up and people would run to the front of the car and I would always sit there and wait for them to return. There was one time in particular when the car came and everyone left and I joined and went to the car. I asked “What you girls got”, and my co-worker replied, “here Willie sniff this.” I did as she instructed and after I asked “What’s that?” and she replied sarcastically “cocaine you idiot.” At that moment is when I started using drugs, I wanted to hang with my friends and also wanted to be like them. To be honest that wasn’t my thing though and in a year I stopped using cocaine, but continued drinking alcohol. Well in 1993, I became clean and sober joining the tri-city group of AA and I was very active for many years and also was the secretary. For many years, I managed to stay clean.

In 2017, I started going back around my old friends and hanging in areas I used to ‘chill around.’ Honestly, looking back now I know that being around those old things brought back old demons. I started back using it in 2017, but the good thing was that I didn’t use as much as initially when I was abusing. 2018 for me was quite different and a bit rougher for me, and I hit rock bottom. It started when I became a roommate to an AA classmate; she had an extra room and it was perfect for me. One day my roommate came to me, and let me know that her son’s marriage had ended and he needed somewhere to stay. In my mind, I was thinking that he’d move in with me in a month or maybe a couple of weeks. It shocked me that he was there the next day with all his clothes ready to move into my home. Once I saw that I decided to leave and live in my car. I didn’t take any clothes with me and I was on the streets. I went to my family’s home and was asked by my sister not to come back until I got myself together I then began using more than ever.

My mother was hurt the most by my situation. Even through her hurt, she constantly called and checked on me and gave me $125 to clean myself up and get a hotel. My mom reached out to me on every Tuesday and Thursday for 9 months straight. We would meet up weekly at Dunkin’ Donuts, and she regularly gave me the money and filled her desire in being able to just look me in the eyes to know I was okay. August 3, 2018, she turned my world upside when she gave me money as she usually did, but couldn’t stand to look at me anymore. That was one of the worst feelings I could’ve ever felt; to describe it I felt as if a truck just ran me over. After that happened, I looked in the mirror and cried to myself. There was a major needed pep talk to myself that was given, and I had to beat myself up verbally to understand that I really needed to get my stuff together. I drove to Anchor hospital and parked my car. I went inside the building and asked a worker to ask them to take my keys. I told the lady that if she didn’t take my keys that I would’ve killed myself via overdose. She took my keys and it was a relief to me. I went to a lodge for 30 days for recovery, and my sister came to visit me and it was hard for her to be stern with me but it was well needed. Everything that the lodge had to offer as far as to help, I was in attendance for it.

I was admitted to My Brother’s Keeper towards the end of August. My Brother’s Keeper and Paula Crane Center helped me to get better; they have always encouraged me that I’ll be alright. In December, I moved out of my Brother’s Keeper but kept going to the program until I graduated in February. I no longer have to attend any meetings or anything, but I still attend things, because it is so helpful for me. The connection I have with the staff at The Crane is second to none, and that’s perfect for me. The most important part about staying clean is to stay connected. Everything in my life that I went through has left me no regrets nor remorse. The most beautiful thing about the whole situation is that my mom is uplifted and extremely proud of me and believed I could always get clean.

Now I am surrounded by people who believed in me more than I believed in myself. I have people who gave me the courage and strength to keep my head up and show the strength they’ve helped me find. They have also helped me to stay clean day by day. The Crane’s staff, my peers, and my sponsors I am so appreciative for their help and love. Because of those great people, I can make it day by day on my road to recovery.